Bat · Country

So, I am not the world's best updater.  Anyway, I finished with finals, and now I have to repeat OB nursing.  And I think that's lame because I absolutely know what to do, and I know the important information about heart rates and looking at how well the baby is tolerating labor.  But because I didn't have a book for about half the semester, I didn't know all of the tiny, minute details we were actually tested on.  So now I'm waiting to find out if I get to go back next semester or not.
One of the cats decided that the water dish was an appropriate place to keep my cell phone, so I had to get a new one.  We spent a long time on the phone with some random representative from Sprint trying to get our account numbers so that we could switch to Cingular.  We were switching b/c Casey gets a discount as a state employee, so he and I decided to save a buck.  But this person would NOT get off the phone with us. Anyway, now we both have new phones, which is awesome.  I love my new phone.  It's something I actually wanted, instead of the lame "replacement" phone Sprint sent 2 years ago when my other phone broke.
In other news, I pulled some muscle in my neck and cannot turn my head either direction.  All this only 2 weeks before our health insurance kicks in, of course.  Lame.  So hopefully it will go away on its own, because I can't handle this for another 2 weeks, especially with Christmas coming up.  I've got to get the apartment clean, as Casey's mom and brother are coming here on Saturday to celebrate Christmas.  I'm a little worried about trying to play suzy homemaker, especially since Casey's planned out some menu of all of his favorite dishes of mine.  These are all dishes that I do on special occasions when I have a whole day to cook, not when I'm trying to cram everything into an afternoon.
I hate holiday shopping.  I have had no less than 2 panic attacks in the past week trying to get this dumb shopping done.  I hate big crowds of people.
And I personally think that people with kids (and strollers, especially), should shop during specified hours, preferably only early in the morning.  Also, if you go to the mall for the sole purpose of practicing your pimp walk, you should be shot.  
I'm off to spend more time alone with my heating pad.  Adios!

I was writing to naughtydolphin about immature fathers, and it reminded me of a story I have to tell you guys.  (Denise, this isn't the one I was talking about, this is a different one.  Read on!)  Okay, so in clinicals one day, I was talking with my instructor about patients who ask their husbands before doing things like taking any medications or anything like that.  I understand that it's cultural, somewhat, and sometimes there are just over-controlling men, who don't believe that a woman should be allowed to have a percocet after an episiotomy.  Those men are asses.  I digress.
My instructor told me about a couple who came in one time, and they were going to try their best to do natural labor.  I admire these women, but I don't understand it.  It's like having a tooth drilled with no novacaine to me, you know?  But if any of you ladies out there are thinking of doing it, don't let me talk you out of it.  I'm just telling you my opinion, and me no likey pain.  So anyway, this couple...the woman gets to about 8 or 9 centimeters and this baby is BIG.  They're thinking she'll probably tear.  She's screaming in pain, and asking for an epidural.  My instructor, who was their labor and delivery nurse at this time, went to call the anesthesiologist, and the husband stops her and says, "Absolutely not, she doesn't need it."  They started arguing, and the nurse was in an unfortunate position.  She wasn't sure if the husband knew that he could talk his wife through this, or if he was being controlling.  When the new mom started crying and really complaining, and begging for the epidural, the husband started scolding her.  And my nursing instructor, being the amazing woman that she is, said the following to the husband:
"How's this - you stand right next to your wife, and every time she's having a contraction, she'll go ahead and squeeze your balls really hard, and you can tell her whether or not she deserves pain medicine if she wants it."
Needless to say, this woman got her epidural.
The end.  Best nursing story ever.
By the way, my whole back is killing me after being bent over this woman yesterday trying to replace her bandaging after her c-section incision had started to open up.  She was a pretty large girl, and I was bent over her for at least 45 minutes.  I can barely walk today.  I have to go shopping with my mommy tomorrow.  Should be interesting!

Today was my last day at OB clinicals.  At least for this semester.  I can almost promise that I'm going to fail (which, in our program, is getting less than a 77 in the class.  Seriously), which means that I will have to repeat the class.  The stupid thing is, I know what I'm doing.  My level of patient care is way above my classmates' level of care.  I know what I need to know.  My patients love me.  The nurses love me.  (I'm not trying to be conceited - the nurses and my instructor have told me this).  But unfortunately, we don't get graded at clinicals.  We get a satisfactory or unsatisfactory.  Our grades are based on the tests we have.  And the tests are totally based on random crap from the book.  And the answers are always a little shady.
Example:  On our most recent test, there was a question - a woman comes to see you and tells you that she's being abused.  What do you do first?  The options included telling the woman that you have to report to the police, telling the woman that it isn't her fault, helping to coordinate an escape plan, and...something else.  I can't remember the other option.  I picked the option of telling her it wasn't her fault.  Apparently the correct answer is to tell the woman that you have to call the police.  That is wrong.  In this state, you are required to report child abuse and elder abuse.  With spousal abuse, all you can do is ancourage the woman to leave.  If the question had said that she was pregnant, that would be different, but it did not.  I even double checked with my husband, the lawyer.  Plus, even if you did have to report to the police, wouldn't you still immediately let the woman know that abuse isn't her fault?  I certainly would.  That would be the first thing out of my mouth.  God, I hate the woman who teaches OB.
Also, I have a friend whose father is in the hospital because his body has rejected a bone marrow transplant (he has lymphoma).  Well, this girl had to leave early to see her dad, and the teacher was totally rude to her, and basically said, "Too bad for you, you're going to miss all this info."  And she was condescending when she said it.  This teacher blows.
Normally, I DO NOT blame my teachers for my grades.  I grew up with a teacher (my dad) and I know better, but I honestly think that this is their fault.  Everyone I know is in danger of failing (except for that annoying brat in my clinical group who thinks that the sun shines out of her own ass). There's something wrong there.  Also, while I understand that we need to be tested on straight information, I don't understand why the way we are as nurses doesn't factor into the grade.  Nursing is a "doing" profession.  It's about interacting with people, and taking the right actions.
I'm sorry.  I'm just angry about this.  The good news is that my clinical instructor for OB really liked me, so she's going to write a letter of recommendation for me to stay in the program (oh yeah, did I mention that if you fail a class, you are ousted from the program?).  So, fingers crossed.  I have to get, like, a 90 on the final to not have to retake it.
Anyway, today I was on the APU, for moms who are having early labor and such.  It wasn't a busy day, but I put babies on monitors all morning.  I even taught one of my classmates how to do it.  There were 3 sets of twins on the floor!  How crazy is that?  (Plus, it's hard to find twins on the heart monitors).  Also, there was a woman who was recovering from a c-section, and her incision was starting to open up.  The doc wasn't too concerned, as long as it didn't open any more (there was a hole about the size of the tip of a finger), and the drainage wasn't straight blood or infection.  But I was bent over her cleaning it out and replacing the strips for a long time, and now my back hurts like crazy.
Today is Casey's and my two-month anniversary.  Hooray.  I'm cooking dinner and making this amazing-looking macaroni and cheese I saw on the food network.
I'm going lie down now and rest my back.  Yowza.

Did you guys watch the season premiere of Scrubs last night?  If not, nuts to you - all you people watching Grey's (Gray's?  Like I care) Anatomy are seriously missing out on humor.  So there.

It's so crazy windy out that I can't stand it.  At least it didn't snow.  When it snows, I don't leave the house.  I cannot believe that yesterday, we turned on the air because it was 70 degrees out.  Now, I've turned on the heat.  Cripes.

I cannot get enough of the Weird Al video for white and nerdy, only because of Donny Osmond dancing around in the background.  It's classic.

More later.

I haven't posted in a while.  Sue me.

Thanksgiving was odd.  Casey had to work on Wednesday (he was defending a kid in court and had no idea when he'd get home), so I drove up to the land of my folks by myself (with brand new tires, I might add).  We had dinner with my dad's family on Wednesday night at his house.  Well, part of their family.  Apparently one of his sisters has gone kind of nuts and doesn't want to be in the same room as any of the rest of us - this is the same one who wouldn't come to Casey's and my wedding, because either we lived together ahead of time, or because we're democrats.  Or both.  But I'm certain it's one or a combination of those things.  And his youngest sister didn't come either, although I have no idea why.  So, really, it was my dad, stepmom, grandparents, and stepsister - until she had to leave (about 10 minutes after I got there).  Weird.  Casey came up with his brother on Thursday afternoon, and his mom drove up seperately.  His dad went to visit family in Virginia.  So we just figured that we'd get everyone together.  Unfortunately, all of the other people on my mom's side of the family weren't there.  So really, it was just us with my parents, grandparents, and a family friend.

It kind of didn't feel like we even HAD Thanksgiving.  Ah, well.

This will be a series of random thoughts.  You'll get over it.

I have an exam in OB nursing on Monday over 11 chapters.  I have read none of them so far.  I have a busy weekend ahead of me.

Speaking of OB - lots of fun stuff happened at clinicals!  I finally got to see a c-section, which rocked my little world.  It was so quick!  The doc was in and out of there in a half-hour, and they were also tying her tubes while they were in there.  I've put babies on heart monitors, I put in catheters after epidurals, and today I took out c-section staples, and took out a catheter.  Whee!  I think I definitely want to work in this area some way - either actually with laboring moms, or dealing with fertility, or something along those lines.

While we're on the subject, I'll go ahead and share - Casey and I have plans to start trying to have kids around June of next year.  You might think that's really soon, but we've already been told that it will probably be harder for me to get pregnant, with these gimp ovaries and such, so we're allowing some extra time.  Plus, assuming I stay on my schedule for school, I'll graduate next December, so I'll at least be out of school.  Sometimes I feel really young, and then I'll go to the hospital, and we're delivering moms as young as 13.  And I swear to you, when I was on the antepartum unit (for moms who have other med. problems but are pregnant, or are having pre-term labor or other complications), I was older than every mom there.  Crazy, right?

What else?  I hate Gwen Stefani.  I think she's just writing crap to see what she can get away with.  Her most recent crappy song actually samples that yodeling song from The Sound of Music.  And then she just raps over it - something about her dumb clothing line.  I don't know.  It's really awful.

My step-cousin Nani just got engaged.  I'm quite happy for her - she's got a really awesome fiance.  Plus, she's part-Hawaiian, so she's going to be the most beautiful bride on the planet, I'm sure.  My first thought when I found out about it, though, was that I felt bad for my stepsister Katie.  Poor thing - she's been w/her boyfriend Jared (although I've expressed here before that I think he's a complete tool and an immature jackass, but whatever) for almost 6 years, and meanwhile, Melanie, myself, and now Nani, are all on the wedding bandwagon.  And I know that she would love nothing more than to get married.  She used to take Melanie's ring, put it on her own hand, take pictures of it, and send them to Jared.  At least Nani and I are both older than Katie.  But I get the feeling she's going to be spitting nails if it doesn't happen in the next few months for her.

Now I'm done.  I'll be back for more, though.

So much to talk about.  First, at long last, I have finally figured out who Marcel, from Top Chef reminds me of.  

Marcel:

Separated at birth from cartoon superhero Freak-a-zoid?

Ah, I can finally rest at night.

Speaking of which, my husband is the worst at hypnic jerks ever.  A hypnic jerk is when your body kind of jerks while you're falling asleep.  I swear to you people, every time I fell asleep last night, he'd jerk and smack my back or kick my leg.  I had to be at clinicals this morning, so I was already really nervous about oversleeping.  I am so neurotic about it that I actually set my alarm for 2 hours before I have to be there, just to allow extra time to clean my windows and stuff.

Today I was in the nursery doing assessments on babies!  The baby I had was so sweet, and I felt bad for it, because its mom had a blood clot in her leg and didn't want to see the baby at all.  That's so sad.  I did get to feed him.  And I saw a circumcision.  Oh!  And he had 12 fingers.  How crazy is that?

Well, while I was back in the nursery, I started talking with one of the other nurses.  She was talking about all of these problems she's had with her intestines since she had a gastric bypass 3 years ago.  I mentioned that I had one, too, and it turns out that we used the same doctor.  I've always had nice things to say about my doc, but apparently there was a lot going on behind the scenes.  He got fired from the hospital he was at, and came to a hospital in Lexington.  Now, he's been fired from it as well, and is practicing in Tennessee.  This is all info that I confirmed online, actually.  He had to leave because a significant number of his patients have problems from their surgery, because he was doing it incorrectly.  And apparently he had totally lied to all of us about never having patients who had had complications.  The nurse said that even after what she had been through, he was touting that he''d never had any problems.  The rumor is that he has a drug problem.  He apparently started cancelling appointments right and left also.
It looks like he's been named in several malpractice suits.  I'm going to ask my husband to investigate that a little bit.  I've been having a lot of abdominal pain and problems in the past couple of years, and now I wonder if that's what it is?  The nurse said that the types of problems that his patients are suffering from can come up at any time, and not just immediately post-op like you might think.
Finally, I found out on Sunday night that my paternal grandpa was in the hospital with a pulmonary embollism (blood clot in the lung).  I think this actually happened around Thursday, but Dad's side of the family generally sucks at giving information like this.  (When my uncle died 6 years ago, no one called me.  I called Dad to tell him I was home for the weekend with tonsillitis, and he was like, "Oh, your uncle died 2 days ago.  The funeral is tomorrow).  So, hopefully he's doing okay, but I guess I wouldn't really know.  Argh.
And now, since I slept for about 2 minutes, I'm taking a nap. 

I have just returned from day 2 in my OB rotation, and since I promised an update, you're getting it. Tuesday was really, really busy for me. The patient I had was a first time mom, 18, with an unplanned pregnancy. When I first arrived, she was in labor, but she was being induced (basically, if your water breaks and you don't begin having contractions, they want you to come in because otherwise you're at a high risk of infection). I knew I wasn't going to get to watch the birth because the first stage of labor (where you're dilating) can take many, many hours. She was totally miserable and there were about 20 people in the room, including her brother who was actually asleep on the couch next to her. All of these people were watching some stupid movie while this poor girl is laying there, sweating, crying, and vomiting (always a treat to get to clean that up). We had to keep clearing them all out of there at least every 45 minutes or so. But I got to watch the anesthesiologist put in an epidural, which was cool. And, I was going to get to put in a catheter, then, but she was really upset and still in lots of pain, so the nurse did it, since she could do it quickly. When I left, they were giving her some other medication, because the first stuff didn't work.
Today, I was in the post-partum unit, and I had two patients. They were both totally low-maintenance. One had a c-section and the other had a vag. delivery. I was totally amazed that neither of them wanted any pain meds. Not even Motrin. I'm telling you right now, if I push a person out of me, I want drugs. But anyway, today was pretty slow. I got to look at the incision from the c-section, and the private area from the vaginal delivery. I'm starting to get a little more confortable with staring at vaginas all day, but it's still a little weird to ask people to just drop trou and show me.
Anywho, that's the update so far from the Ob rotation. I apologize if I grossed some of you out.
I really like the instructor that I have - she's great. We have SO much work to do for her, though. We have prep work, which is a packet of questions we have to answer about things we'll be doing in each unit (we rotate between labor and delivery, pre-labor - moms who are high risk and stuff but not yet in labor, post-partum, and the nursery), plus, we have to gather info about all of the drugs we might give, and then today I had a huge assignment due on my patient from Tuesday. So needless to say, I was up kinda late. So, now I'm off to nap. Ciao!

Following election day yesterday (I voted! Under my new name!), I'm feeling a little ambivalent. On one hand, I'm excited that my fellow democrats across the country have earned us control once again in the House and at this point, maybe in the senate. That one is still TBD. Anywho, I'm happy about that. But, for whatever reason, Lexington, where liberals are in the majority, ousted our own democrat mayor. So, I'm sad about that. A couple of days ago I noticed that what appeared to be millions of dollars were being spent on advertising from the republican party, while the democrat ads were scarce. Especially ads from that wful Alice (Lynn) Forgy Kerr. I actually know her - she used to be best friends with the lady that my dad cheated on my mom with. Well, one of the ladies. But he continued to see her after the 'rents were divorced, and this lady used to call me all the time when I moved to Lexington to beg me to come to her church. Why on earth would she think that I would do that? Don't know. But man, she ran an ugly, but incredibly smart campaign.

Anyway, I asked my husband why there weren't any ads from dems on the radio, and he said they didn't bother, since they were pretty much a lock. I just wonder if we would've won, had they actually spent as much money on smear campaigns as our conservative counterparts.

On to something happy! Yesterday was also my one-month wedding anniversary. To celebrate, Casey surprised me with dinner at Malone's steakhouse, which is this high-end amazing restaurant. We even had champagne and creme brulee for dessert. Awesome. And, no, we don't plan on celebrating every single month anniversary, but it's good for us to get in the habit of celebrating the little victories. I just know at some point, marriage is going to get tough - there are always difficult times for every couple - but if we're still celebrating each other, it will be so much easier to remember why we got married in the first place. So anyway, I had the most tender filet mignon yesterday that I could cut it with a fork. Oh, yes.

That's it for me right now. I must be off to class. Oh, musculoskeletal disorders, I cannot wait to learn more about you!

Later, I shall tell you about my first day on the labor and delivery ward yesterday during clinicals. QUITE an interesting experience. Another time, folks.

I know, it's been a long, long time. My apologies.

You guys want to hear something awful? The semester is 2/3 of the way over, and I still don't have textbooks. I had to wait so that we could save money for the wedding and honeymoon. And then, because Casey's boss forgot to sign some paperwork, he didn't get paid for the entire month of October until yesterday, so money was really tight. I've got to get my books, though, or I absolutely will not pass this semester.

To make up for my absence, I thought I'd give you all a treat. I've uploaded all of my photos to my Yahoo photo account. There are 300 of them, so I understand if people don't want to look through them all. But, I did take the time to caption them all, so just humor me, okay? Thanks.

By the way, these are not the professional photos. These are ones taken by our guests with the disposable cameras my mom put at each table. My uncle John also took some with Dan's camera. All of the photos that aren't grainy are those taken by him. There were something like 500 pictures, but I had to sift through the ones that were of people's thumbprints, my bridesmaids flipping off the camera, and about 40 pictures of Niki and Alicia's cleavage. They must've really liked those dresses we chose. Enjoy!

Also, I've decided to go ahead and do some Friday Fiving. Here we go:

The Friday Five:

1) What was the first CD/Record/Album/Artist you ever bought and what format was it in? (Vinyl/Cassette/CD/MP3 Download)?
I think it was Bobby Brown's "Don't Be Cruel" which contained the classics "Every little step you take" and "My perogative." It was a tape. I think I was about 8 or 9.

2) How do you usually listen to music? (iPod/Walkman/Stereo/Radio)
I either listen to it in the radio (my drive to and from Richmond is about 35 minutes each way) or on ipod.

3) What is your favorite genre of music and why?
I prefer alternative/rock music. I like it because I find most pop and rap music completely vapid, and I've always hated country. Plus, now I feel like listening to it automatically turns me into a republican. I can't explain it. When I was growing up, all that was allowed in the house was Christian music, which I've just never cared for. I prefer my music a little bit angsty, so when I was allowed to make my own choices, this is what I came up with.

4) What is your opinion on music video shows and music televion?
I think that with most female singers, if they didn't put out these videos of themselves 3/4 naked, squirming all over the place, they wouldn't have music careers, because they sure as hell aren't talented. Hi, Fergie, I'm talking to you. Popularity in music anymore is directly correlated with either how many hot girls you can fit in your video (Hi, Diddy, you are also not talented) or how many special effects you can cram in. Or both. Honestly, sometimes I think it's akin to watching porn...the people are nearly naked and the music sucks. And if there's any acting involved, well that usually bites as well.

5) Do you usually agree with who the winners of the Grammy Awards are?
I don't usually pay too much attention. I definitely think that people like Bono and Mariah Carey need to stop winning so many of them, though. I've had way more than I can stand of Ms. Carey. She needs to stop pouting when she sings and wear a dress in her size.

And now Friday Fiver:

1) Tell us about where you live:
I have a 2-bedroom, 2-bathroom apartment in Lexington with my husband and my cats. It's not huge and it's not super-small, and we turned one of the bedrooms into a den of sorts.

2) If you could change one thing about your home, what would it be?
That we wouldn't live here? Casey and I have been looking at houses in the hopes of being able to purchase one in the next year. I definitely don't want to have any kids until after we move.

3) Do you do laundry on a regular schedule?
I do it about once a week, unless we need to do it more often. Usually, it's near the weekend, because that's when things calm down for me during the week.

4) Describe the place that you sleep:
I sleep in my room, on a queen bed with Casey, and usually a cat or two will join us. Casey hates having a comforter on when he sleeps (he gets super hot) so we sleep under a sheet and then I put a fleece blanket on over me. We each have an end table with a lamp and some books on it. Our bed stuff is all stuff we got as wedding presents, and there's a tv and 2 dressers in the room. Oh, and we have a dartboard with a picture of Dubya in the center. You like it, don't you?

5) This morning: was it easy or difficult to start the day?
Pretty easy, considering it was Saturday, so we both got to sleep in. Tomorrow, Casey signed us up to join a "relationship" class at church, so we've got to get up kind of early to make it to that. It's for engaged couples, newlyweds, and people who have been married for years. Should be interesting.

So, I was going to get on here and rant about Rush Limbaugh saying something stupid about Michael J. Fox, but I think pretty much everyone agrees that Rush is an idiot, and people with admitted drug abuse problems have no right to judge someone's legitamite medical concern. Rush, you are a tool. La.

I was reading Casey's latest issue of Newsweek, where it talks about something called a "Hell House." I actually attended one of these in high school and was disgusted by it. If you don't know, this is sort of an alternative to a haunted house for Halloween, usually run by mega-churches. There are then "personal stories" of people who have done something wrong and must pay. For example, in the one portrayed in Newsweek, there are several stories - one is that a guy got married to another guy and was punished by getting AIDS. A girl went to a rave and was punished by getting raped (nice) and was contemplating suicide. Sensitive, I know. Then, it's like there's an altar call at the end, so that you can hurry up and repent after being bullied for an hour.

This is infuriating to me, and here's why: 1. You cannot scare someone into religion. You can't. It won't last. I spent the whole of my childhood terrified that I'd be possessed by a demon for being a bad person. I should've been learning to become a good and compassionate person with a mind of her own. I was scared into following my parents' beliefs. Now that I've come back into Christianity on my own, I'm doing it differently, but it feels more personal.

2. This is so ridiculously insensitive. I'm not even going to bother going into detail about the glaring error that the number one group of people infected with AIDS these days are not gay men trying to get married (and if they're getting married, wouldn't that mean that they're in a monogamous relationship, and NOT catching it from other people anymore? Whatever), but 20-something African-American females. But aside from that giant plothole, I cannot believe that someone in the church is trying to spread the message that ANYONE deserves to get raped because he/she went to a party. You've got to be kidding me with this. We already have an outrageous number of people not reporting rapes, and you're going to bully someone into not reporting a crime by insinuating that not only did she deserve it, but that she was being PUNISHED??? Tell me people don't think that's how God works!

The truly frightening thing is that if people want to combine church and state, this is the kind of mentality that will come up. That's scarier to me than any haunted house.

I know I've mentioned it before, but I'm so sensitive about rape because it happened to me, twice. The first time, I was in high school, and dating a guy I shouldn't have trusted, but did. And do you know why? Because he was a "good Christian boy." Clearly not so good, really. The second time, I drank too much and this guy refused to acknowledge my screaming no. Now, did I deserve that, merely because I had been drinking? The state of KY says that's a crime, and I agree. The point is, the idiots (and clearly, these are all men) who designed this crap are trying to point a finger at a helpless victim of a crime. That's so upsetting.

So, there's my soapbox rant. I'm just really upset by it.

On to something happier...Casey and I watched "Saw III" the other day in honor of Halloween. I thought it was a lot smarter than Saw II, but not as great as the original. Part of that is probably due to the novelty of the idea in the original film, though. The ending was a little off - I can't tell if they're trying to leave it open for a sequel or if they were trying to be creative and do kind of a cliffhanger so you'd leave the theater debating what was going to happen. Don't know.

Finally, I started my OB rotation last Thursday. I'm really excited. I get to watch deliveries and C-sections, I get to do checkups on mom and baby, I get to give shots and stuff to the infants in the nursery...so much fun. Hopefully I'll have the chance to start an IV soon, too, because I haven't yet. And my buddy Niki's sister is scheduled for a C-section on Monday, so I'll get to check in on her and see the new baby soon. I'm honestly really excited about this rotation, although I'm a little sad to leave Shriner's. It turned out to be a lot more fun than I had thought.

Good night, Moon.

I should be in bed, but I'm dreading the prospect of shoving those stupid earplugs in my ears to sleep next to Casey. I know, it's early for this kind of thing, but my God, I would give my arm for a night of uninterrupted sleep, meaning, I can actually fall asleep (impossible right now because of the noise, which I can hear plain as day through my 35 decibel earplugs), and remain asleep (Casey's sleep apnea causes him to jerk awake randomly throughout the night, usually kicking me or hitting me somehow in the process). One of these days, I'm going to lose my mind and just wail on him. You wait.

Since I'm up, I'll tell ya...there will be more pics posted, I promise. My parents just dropped off a cd of wedding pics at our apartment on Saturday, so as soon as this week is over, I'll get on uploading those. Right now, I have delinquent thank you's to send.

I officially changed my name Friday, but I have to wait 2 weeks for my new card. Next step is to change my license. I also finally cut off my long wedding-hair. I couldn't be happier.

The cat ran off with several letters from the laptop. I think he's trying to spell a message for me. So far, he's written "alt-q-v-spacebar." What a deep kitty.

I love Scrubs. I need for it to come back immediately, if not sooner. 5 times a day is just not enough for me.

I watched two sub-par movies over the weekend. First was The Prestige, which we watched because my husband harbors the delusion that he will marry Scarlett Johannsen (like my obsession with Johnny Depp, I suppose). But it was like watching "memento" for stupid people. I don't actually need everything spelled out for me, you know. Second was "The Departed" which I thought would be totally kick-ass. It was not. Jack Nicholson was not nearly as disturbing a mob boss as I had dreamed he could be. Don't get me wrong - he was a messed up guy, but it felt like all of the disturbing stuff was happening offscreen, and what they decided to include in the actual movie was long-winded and boring.

Before the movie started, I really wanted to have a throw-down in the theater. Here's what happened: there was a preview for a new movie about the Dixie Chicks and what they went through after the whole concert incident in France (was it France? I think so). Now, I don't want to see the movie because when I think people's civil liberties are at stake I get upset, and the fact that people threatened their lives because Natalie Maines spoke her mind makes me ashamed to be American sometimes. I'm just saying. So I think I'd get too upset at the movie. But anyway, after the preview was over, some genius in the back row (the same guy, I think, who brought his 2 year old daughter and 4 year old son to The Departed) shouted "F--- the Dixie Chicks!" And a boatload of people applauded. And I was furious. I almost shouted "F--- republicans!" in return, but I know Casey hates when I get passive-aggressive like that. I did loudly proclaim "I HATE KENTUCKY!" I was waiting for someone to shout at me to move to France or something equally enlightened.

And one of the problems I had with the movie, then, was that it was obvious that these losers were enjoying it. And I know it's petty, but it's like, if I know someone so repugnant is enjoying something, it takes away some of the enjoyment for me. Turns out Casey felt the same way. Sometimes it's really difficult to be liberal in this state.

Did I tell you guys that the most recent patient I had at the children's hospital was a 6 month old baby? Oh, geez, it adds to the baby fever, I'm serious. I know that the best thing is for us to be just "us" for a while, and to wait to have kids, but now that the whole stigma is lifted and I know it wouldn't be taboo in my family, it makes it 100 times harder to wait to have kids. I at least want to get out of this crapwad apartment before bringing some innocent infant into this mess. The thing is, I never cared that much, growing up, about getting married. I was so cynical after my parents divorced that it didn't cross my mind. But I did always dream of being a parent. Now I'm all kinds of rambling.

I've had to practice signing my new last name, and I feel like I'm back in high school...did any of you guys used to doodle your first name with the last name of some guy you had a crush on? All of my Med/surg notes are covered with various reincarnations of my name. Maybe that's why I'm struggling in the class.

It's the end of day 2 of my sad little time of being all alone this week. I'm so silly - I used to live alone for 3 years, and now all of the sudden, I don't know what to do with myself. Here is my list of things I should do this week:

1. Get hair cut by professional. Now that this wedding is over, I can go back to short hair. Happy day! Must do this soon, before I go nuts and cut it myself.

2. Finish paper due Wednesday. Also, start said paper. Gah.

3. Work on contingency plan from missing clinicals last week.

4. Get out of the apartment to hang with girlfriends before I eat my weight in leftover wedding cake.

And now, to find something fun to do, I'm stealing surveys from Kristina. But she'll get over it. :)

1. The time: After 1:30 in the morning

2. The weather: Stupid and cold and crap-like.

3. The big news story: This whole Mark Foley thing. Also apparently Paris and Nicole are friends again! Whee! I care not. But E! news has been pissing themselves since it happened.

4. Your favorite hangout: Anywhere I can get coffee. Or espresso, preferably.

5. The must-have accessory: A tiny dog?

1. What job do you have, and why do you like/hate it? Technically, I'm still on staff to be a home health nurse, but I hate it because they never give me hours. However, I've also been serving as a housewife lately, which I always thought I would hate, but I kind of like it. It's going to get boring soon, I'm sure.

2. As a kid, what did you want to be when you "grew up?" I remember wanting to be a pediatrician for a long time.

3. Is the job you have now anything like what you imagined as a kid? Well, I am in nursing school, and I'm in my pediatric rotation right now, so technically, I guess it's pretty damn close.

4. Do you have a five-year career plan? Um...beyond graduating and getting a job, not so much.

5. In order to get the job of your dreams, is there anything you wouldn't do? Why? I wouldn't live apart from Casey.

1. Name one of your bad habits: I procrastinate (obviously), and I occasionally bite my nails.

2. What do you expect from friends? Loyalty.

3. What is the last thing you wrote down? Um...I guess notes in class?

4. What is the last favor you did for someone else? I have no idea. Things have been revolving a lot around me lately.

5. What is your favorite TV show? If I had to pick just one right now, it would totally be Scrubs.

Oh, Casey's cousin sent us the link to the video he took of the wedding. It is 41 minutes long, but the vows are in the first half, so if you want to see it, let me know, and I'll send the link along. But my feelings won't be hurt - I realize that probably the only people who will want to see this besides me are my parents.

Adios, kids.

Okay, kids, it's time for the fantastic wedding recap with pictures.  Relax, it will probably be long.

Basically, things went perfectly.  I couldn't have asked for better weather for October in Kentucky.  No rain, and just breezy enough to keep me from melting under all those layers of tulle.  I don't have actual pictures from the ceremony just yet, as our church didn't allow photos during the ceremony, and our photographer hasn't sent the ones she took of the wedding party.  So I do have some from the reception and some from the honeymoon, and the others, you'll have to wait on.  But that makes it fun, right?

Jamaica was awesome - the weather couldn't have been more perfect.  Did I happen to mention that we were offered pot twice before we even got to the hotel?  Fortunately they were asking Casey, because if they had asked me, my technique of "smile and nod" when I don't really understand what someone is saying could've gotten us in trouble!  I've never done any plane travel overseas - the only other time I was technically out of the country was when I was on the cruise with my mom to the Bahamas, so customs and immigration weren't as big of a problem.  This time, it felt like we went through the process about 8 times.  Plus, I had stashed the goodies from my bachelorette party in my suitcase to hide them from people visiting our home before the wedding, so I had to stand there while Jamaican people went through my suitcase and looked at all of that crap before I could get on the plane.  

I personally hate plane travel.  I get tense every time.  The plane we took from Miami back to Kentucky on the way back?  Was tiny.  It sat 4 people across and had 18 rows.  I felt like Casey and I were actually sitting on top of each other.  And I don't like being in tiny planes.

And now, on to photos, I suppose.

Anyway, I'm going to be quite lonely and bored this week, as Casey left earlier today to go to a conference for a week.  I know, Newlyweds and he's already left, right?  So please give me lots of lovely comments and fun things to read about so I don't remember that I'm totally alone this week.  :(

Also, I forgot to mention...one of our groomsmen came with his date to the wedding and left immediately after eating dinner and cake.  And didn't give a card or anything.  I'm not a stickler for gifts - I don't expect them.  I do expect that if you're in my party and I feed you and your date $30 steaks each, you at least rip out a piece of notebook paper that says "Congrats" or SOMETHING.  Geez.  Part of me is really, REALLY tempted to send him a card that says "Thanks for eating our food and then leaving.  A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund."  Thank you, Seinfeld.

Little things like that aside, we got a million compliments telling us that it was the best party of the year, and that's what we were going for.  Probably more to come as I remember it.  Our marriage license arrived while we were in Jamaica, so I guess I'll be taking that to change my name this week.  Now that will be weird.

Hi, world!

This will be brief. I am pooped. Airline travel doesn't sit well with me. Anyway, hi, I'm married. How weird is that?? I mean, it's not that I'm not ready - I've known that Casey was it for me since before we were dating. But a part of me feels like I shouldn't legally be allowed to do things like change my name. We got our marriage certificate in the mail - it was waiting for us when we got back from Jamaica.

I'll write more and hopefully post some pics later. I just wanted to give an update. Also, Jamaica rocked my world. Everyone was so nice, and every person we passed on our way to eat or to the bar or anything called out "Honeymooners! Newlyweds! Are you having a good time?" It was great. Now I have to adjust to not being special anymore. :(

I've spent the last hour getting all caught up on my friends' list. Now I'm off to bed.

I apologize for the freak-out yesterday. We're 4 days out and apparently I have at least one moment every day when I lose my head. Fun stew.

I'm still not allowed (according to Casey) to religiously check the weather for Saturday, but I totally do anyway. At this point, it looks like it will be sunny and in the 70s. That's a-ok with me. Our church is made so that I have to walk through a garden to get from the bridal suite to the back of the church, so if it's raining, I basically have to walk through the church to get to the other side, or get drenched. So, I'm a little obsessive about it all. Hopefully we'll have sun.

My bachelorette party was this past weekend. My poor mom knows way too much about me now, but she was actually pretty cool about everything. We played this game where I had to answer some pretty personal/embarassing questions, and the other girls had to try and guess the right answers, too. My mom actually won. I don't know how. And she drank Sangria! My mommy never drinks, so this WAS an occasion. Hopefully, I'll have some pictures soon. One of my bridesmaids took several while we were out at the gay bar. I had to see a drag show. It was a must for my last night out. I also ran into a bunch of people I knew, which was amusing.

Did I tell you guys about working at the children's hospital? I was really stressed about it, although my fabulous cousin Shara tells me that I am quite good with kids, or at least I was with her and the other cousins. I do remember singing with them a lot. I taught them lots of silly songs. So I guess I always have that to fall back on. But the first day there wasn't too bad. My patient was so adorable, and when I was scrubbing her up for surgery, I accidentally tickled her. So, I had to tickle her some more. And she asked me to get her doll ready for surgery, too, so I listened to the doll's heartbeat and took its pulse also. Very sweet. Now, I'm hoping that tonight goes just as well.

And now I must be off to wrap up about 200 candy bars with little Just Married stickers. Who's excited? Won't you all be glad when I'm not talking about wedding stuff all the time?

I'm officially taking the opportunity to vent...

My dad. Seriously. I think I'm going to check with the priest to see if we can murder him, or if there are just NO conditions under which patricide is justified. He has caused me to have a tension headache on the left side of my head for the past 2 days.

First off, he's acting like he's going to be in so much trouble with my grandparents because of the alcohol that we're serving at the reception. Hi, I'm 26. It's legal. And I'm Episcopalian, so get over it. They don't even know yet that we're having communion, and it's a part of that, too. That should be fun.

Second, and this is what really irritated Casey and me yesterday, he totally invited his parents to the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Now, we didn't initially invite grandparents to any of this for several reasons: first, I have all 4 of mine still, and Casey only has 2 and only 1 can come, so they're not a part of the ceremony. I didn't want it to seem like I was bragging or something. Second, we didn't want them to have to incur the additional expense of staying over on Friday night. The wedding is late enough Saturday that they can drive down (my grandparents live about 2 hours away) that day. Third, there's already 40 people coming to this dinner, and I'd prefer it if HALF of the wedding attendees were not coming to the rehearsal. That kind of blows it for them, you know.

My stupid dad, without thinking of any of this, went ahead and invited his parents to this shindig. And apparently, they're all driving down together, so he can't leave them at the hotel because they won't have a car. Don't ask why they won't drive their own car - I don't know. So, when I told him that they weren't invited, he got all upset, and yesterday, he tells me that he's bringing them anyway. Just, totally without regard for anyone else, he's bringing them. And he says that he'll just pay for them as "his guests." It's not a cost issue - they weren't invited because it isn't fair to the other grandparents, and also, they're not a part of the ceremony! Come on, now. It's already an hour long - if I had to wait for all of my grandparents to walk down the aisle first, it would take even longer! No offense, but they all move kind of slow.

The thing is, I know everyone will be understanding, but I'm just so tired of having to bend over backwards for him. He's had 2 weddings already to screw up however he wanted. This is my wedding. And then he kept saying, "Well, it's your wedding, do what you want" but then he pulls this crap? I'm so seating the whole bunch of them in the corner away from everyone else. My dad is like Eeyore, I swear. he's also got gall bladder issues, which he apparently didn't want to get resolved until after the wedding. There's honestly a small part of me that feels like he's waiting so he'll have something to complain about that day.

It's awful of me, but I swear I just want the whole stress of it to be over so I can go to Jamaica already.

As per usual, it's been a hectic time around the Bradley/Holland home. We found out yesterday that Casey passed the bar exam, so my parents came to town to take us out to celebrate. And that's awesome, although it was the third time I had seen my mom in like 5 days. She invited herself to town on Thursday, which caused me to be late dropping off my portfolio at school (fortunately, my teacher was cool about it) and Friday, I had dress fittings. So, lots of Mom action. Whee!

It is good, though, because at least now Casey can keep his job. So, bully for that, old chap!

Tonight, I started my pediatric rotation at Shriner's hospital. I'm really worried, because I'm not good with kids. Seriously. I was never one of those girls who babysat, and since I didn't have any siblings at all, I wasn't around kids so much. I tend to get bored with them or irritated with them after about 5 minutes. We'll have to see how this works out.

The stupid cold I caught last weekend is still hanging out. I really wish it would leave my body soon. I'm tired of snoot city in my nose.

The other night, Casey was talking to someone on the phone about the wedding and said, "See you next week," and I almost peed myself. Hi, I'm getting married next week. Do you people realize how soon that is? It's crazy. I will be so glad when it's over, seriously. In two weeks, I will be relaxing in Jamaica with all the free food and drinks I can scarf down.

I have to go to bed early, as Casey's "swearing in" ceremony is tomorrow. Big fun!

FYI: Early for me = anytime before 2 a.m.

I'm not good at updating. I'm just not. But you'll get over it.

My dress fits. Oh, happy day. Now I can get married. I had a second fitting and everything's fine, although I'm still a little weirded out by the fact that my girls are going to be hoisted in a strapless dress for all to see. Last weekend, when I was holding my friends' baby Oliver, he kept moving his head towards my chestal region trying to nurse. It was kind of funny, really, but I am concerned that the dress could exacerbate the condition. Fortunately, I'm wearing a very fluffy veil so that I don't feel as naked.

I really hate the rain. Well, at least I hate driving in it. I'm like a crazy old person in the rain. I can't help it. When I have almost zero visibility, I don't think that's a good time to be going 70. That could be just me. Apparently, it was today.

I found out when the radio stations play all the good music. It happens between the hours of 5 a.m. and 6 a.m. Make a note. I heard O.A.R., Van Morisson, and vintage Green Day, to name a few. But I also have this theory that no matter where you are, or what time of day it is, you can always find Kelly Clarkson on the radio. Try it out, you'll see.

I got to observe a surgery on Tuesday. Of all things for me to watch, it was a laparoscopic gastric bypass. That might creep some people out, since I had one, although mine was open, but really, it wasn't weird. The only bad thing was that because I was in a teaching hospital, the attending surgeon was lecturing the resident and med student helping out as he was doing the procedure. Gotta feel bad for the med student. He scrubbed in and all he was allowed to do was to place a catheter and hold the camera the whole time. Haha. Anyway, because he was teaching them, the surgery took a lot longer than it usually does. I was in there for 3.5 hours and they weren't finished. Plus, since it was a laparoscopic procedure, it was on the tv, so it was like I was watching a really long movie about someone's intestines.

But that's still better than suffering through Lord of the Rings. I'm just saying.

So I had the world's most awkward conversation with my mom today at lunch, after the dress fitting. She asked if Casey and I were having sex or if I was witholding. Now, some of you might not believe this, but we actually are waiting until the wedding. I know, right? But then it took this really awkward turn into discussion of how I'm going to be "sore" on the honeymoon, and KY Jelly, and...I'm going to have to really TRY to block this from my memory.

It's just that I've become actutely aware of the fact that everyone under the sun KNOWS what I'll be doing the night of the 7th. Isn't that weird?

I did buy a bunch of nice new clothes to wear in Jamaica, where I'll bet it isn't raining like it is here.

My bachelorette party is in 8 days. I cannot wait. I'm almost afraid of what my friends are going to try to do. Maybe I'll post "clean" pictures.

There are still nearly 30 people who haven't RSVP'ed to the wedding yet. Get on it, folks! Don't make me come down there! I'm really hoping some of them aren't coming. I cannot believe the overwhelming response we've gotten, which is nice and all, but now I'm wondering where I'll put them all. Also, I have almost no sense of humor as the date approaches, and Casey's dad's jokes about either not wearing a tux at all, or wearing one and going barefoot are not funny to me at the moment.

This is very long. I am sorry. I will rest now, as I caught a cold or some similar infection while dancing in the rain last weekend. Silly me.

So, I've been totally out of touch these past several days, which I blame on spending many, many, MANY hours in a car riding to and from Wisconsin for our friend Kyle's wedding. So now we've got him all married off and on his way to the Mexican Riviera, and my little spouse Amanda is all married off and on her way to Disney World (I was 800 kinds of crushed when I found out that they were the same weekend and we couldn't do both). Stupid Casey being a stupid groomsman in this other thing!

So, I adore James and Dana - we shared a car with them the whole way, and they're both in our wedding in a couple of weeks, but by about 10:00 last night, we were all really sick of each other. But we still had another 4 hours in the car together. That is one long-ass trip, made even longer by the fact that I had to stop a couple of times to throw up (I had my first hangover ever yesterday) and by the fact that they kept pulling off at every exit trying to find cheese.

The wedding itself was wonderful, although I couldn't hear most of it because I was sandwiched between a 2-year old and a 4-month old, both of whom had been dragged out to the Mall of America earlier that day, and they were cranky. The reception, from what I remember, was quite nice, but the best man had decided to go and buy the makings for Jager-bombs, and that was the beginning of the end for Casey and myself. All I know is, when you willingly participate in the chicken dance, you've had too much to drink. So I was suffering quite a bit on the ride back.

We found out today that the original best man for our wedding, Casey's friend Isaac, won't be able to be back for the wedding, which is sad for him, but also really good to know, so now we can put the contingency plan into action (I was about 90% certain that he wouldn't be able to come before all of this, so I insisted that we have a backup plan). So at least I'm relieved that we know this now.

Also, Casey and I have our marriage license all ready to be signed and our travel documents for Jamaica. The flowers are totally paid for, and the rest of it will get paid in the coming weeks. And it's really tripping me out that I have 19 days left. Eep!

I hope you all had great weekends. I must rest now.

I should be feeling more reflective about the whole 5-year anniversary of 9/11 thing, but I'm not, really. The thing is, I never really saw any of it unfold. I had class all day (from 8-4:45 non-stop) that day, and none of my professors thought we should cancel class, or even bothered to pop on a television. I even had a test in my last class. So, everything I saw and heard was totally after the fact. I knew SOMETHING had happened, but I had no idea what. I only felt truly sad about it the Friday after, when I saw a memorial service and people were singing "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." But beyond that, I didn't feel very affected. I don't know anyone in New York City, and I pretty much never fly. That sounds selfish, I guess, but I cannot help how I feel.

Shifting gears completely...Casey and I have decided that together, we cannot watch any show on television. I always pick out the little stuff that's wrong on medical shows, and he's always nitpicking at the legal dramas, and really, what's left after that? I think LOST is a giant steaming pile of crap, and he feels the same way about Gilmore Girls. So we've been watching a lot of Pimp My Ride reruns.

I cannot get enough of the song "How to save a life" by the Fray. It's greatness.

Roughly half of our wedding invitees haven't yet responded, and it's 27 days out. Also, if some people don't start telling us that they AREN'T coming soon, I might cry. The other day, we got an RSVP from Casey's married cousin and four (hi, FOUR) children, whom Casey swore to me wouldn't be coming, and that we were merely inviting them as a formality.

I finally got to give my first injection at clinicals. I looked like a big dork, but fortunately, I had just given my patient a big dose of oxycontin right before that (she just had hip surgery), so I don't know that she really felt it, or even noticed I was still in the room. The patient I had was hysterically funny...someone called when I was giving her a bed bath and she kept referring to the fact that she was "butt-naked with her hoo-ha exposed" and could they possibly call her back? Did I mention that the woman was in her 70s? Oh, she made me laugh.

Does anyone else think that the rapping cat in the Rally's drive-thru commercials sounds exactly like Fergie in her London Bridge song? Man, that song is a waste of airtime.

Bedtime for me now. Adios!

I feel like I'm just sitting here with my thumb up my ass waiting for maintenance to bring us our new dryer. (Drier? Whatever). Our old one finally kicked off over the weekend, and I need a new one now, as I have lots of laundry to do. Mostly, I'm almost out of underwear. I really enjoy how, when Casey calls about something, they send someone over immediately, and when I call, no one even writes it down to check up on later. Who knows when these people will show up.

Casey also got a flat tire at work on Friday. After his tire went flat, he decided that he desperately needed an alignment on his car. Now, I told him this about 3 months ago, when I noticed that the steering wheel shook if I went over 60 mph, but he told me that I must've done something to it, because an alignment doesn't just go out. Well, guess what? He definitely DID need an alignment, as that was the reason his check engine soon light had turned on in the car. He thinks that the reason the light was on was because, when he fried the battery (oh, yeah, he was trying to charge his battery w/my car battery and managed to put the plugs on the wrong electrical ports), he shorted something. So, lets recap. Casey thinks he knows more about cars than Alyssa. Alyssa knew that the alignment was off three months ago. Alyssa also knows better than to fry a battery by putting the chargers on the wrong way. Moral: listen to the wife. She is always right.

Ask me if Casey will atually remember this the next time something happens. My money is on "no."

Yahoo! Maintenance showed up!

Anyway, now an update on the crazy lady from the knot. Okay, so after she completely insulted me, I decided that I would just move on to another forum and stay away from her. She followed me. She's not getting married until next year, but she followed me onto the October 2006 brides forum. And, I have a banner in my bio that says that I'm in favor of gay marriage, so she has taken to calling me "lesbo-bliss." Right, because I cannot support equal rights unless I'm gay, is that it? Wow, what a loser. So, I just blocked her. I won't be able to read anything else she writes. She's also listed me along with 2 other girls she's picked fights with as her favorite people on the knot. This girl needs a life immediately. But hopefully that's the end of it.

I have to add that I'm sad about Steve Irwin. My parents and I used to watch The Crocodile Hunter all the time on Animal Planet, and my stepdad always marveled at how apparent it was that Steve really loved his job. Good-bye Mr. Irwin. I hope you're still hunting reptiles in heaven.

Now I must be off. I have an exam tomorrow in one of my classes, so I guess I should start studying soon.